Reading: Cut & Run
Watching: Doctor Who S3
Writing: Too many prompts sitting there

My Crew

strike team Δ

❝ boneslegendaryhands asked: Between your question and my question yesterday I am DROWNING in Nickels feels, ok? I just can't with them, Tristina.


Actually me:

Yeah. That about sums it up.

❝ tristinawright asked: When Kelly goes to visit his parents' graves, he sits with his back on his mom's because her stone sits in the sunshine and it's warm and suffuses him with warmth like he remembers her hugs being. And he tells them all about his day, about the Navy, about being in Recon, about this guy he might be in love with but, right now Nick's been deployed again and "mama I'm scared he won't come back and I really love him."


There’s no answer. There never is.

Kelly slumps back against his mother’s gravestone, but it isn’t soft and comforting like her hugs used to be. He feels warm but he doesn’t feel safe.

A breeze blows through the graveyard. He tilts his head back letting it ruffle through his hair like fingers. Like a familiar touch. It calms him.   

“I need him ma.”

Kelly’s voice is barely a whisper.

“I’m so scared. What will I do if I lose him.”

He closes his eyes and imagines his mother as he remembers her best, with a smile on her face. The way she looked when she waved him off to school everyday. The way she looked when she tucked him into bed at night. The way she looked when he skinned his knee on the front porch and she wiped the tears off his face and kissed it better.

“He’s over there and I’m not. I should be with him. When I was in that hospital in New Orleans he sat with me and held my hand. Who is going to sit with him if he gets hurt? Who will hold his hand?”

The wind licks gently at the tears on his face and he doesn’t care to wipe them away. Suddenly he feels like a child again. A child who has just lost everything on the brink of losing it all again. He wraps his arms around himself tight in a poor mockery of the embrace he really wants.

“Please mom. I know you and dad watched over me when I was out there. I need you guys to watch over him now too. He’s family. He has to come home. You have to meet him. You’ll love him. I promise you will. He’s brave, and kind and funny and he loves me ma.”

Despite everything a smile plays at edges of Kelly’s mouth.

“He loves me.” Kelly takes a deep breath. Lets the panic slip out of him and draws in another breath of clean air. His own words settle around him like a blanket, giving him the same safe feeling he always gets from Nick’s love.  

“He’ll be okay right? I love him”

A part of Kelly knows the truth is Nick might not come back. Kelly remembers the way Mom used to let him have chocolate milk with dinner if he had a bad day. How she used to tell him everything would work out okay, and Kelly believed her because she was his mom and she made him a promise. Because sometimes you just have to believe. 

“yeah. I’ll be okay.”

Kelly remembers his mom kissing him goodbye and saying I love you. Kelly knows that promise still holds true, he can still feel her love, even if he will never hear the words from her again. Kelly hopes she can still hear it when he says them now.

“I love you. We’ll be okay, don’t worry.”

Kelly looks up at the sky and it’s clear.

“He promised me and I believe him.”

He knows Nick is under the same sky.

“I believe in you Nick. You come home to me.”

Somewhere far away Nick is remembering the same promise.


space is strange, doctor

i’ve got no patience


in·ti·ma·cy (noun)  

1. close or warm friendship or understanding; personal relationship 2. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.



Captain America: the Winter Soldier - The Falcon [x]

#SAM WAS SO GREAT LET ME LIST SOME OF THE WAYS #fearlessly chatting with captain america; treating steve like a human being #recognizing something in steve that speaks to having a hard time adjusting to his situation #and bringing it up in a way that doesn’t put steve on the defensive or make it sound like something not perfectly normal #inviting him to a ptsd meeting without making it seem like he thinks steve needs therapy #or that therapy is something to be ashamed about needing #just so casual and so fucking cool #Sam will be your legs before you realize you can’t stand anymore #and he’ll never ever make that about him (via queenklu)

for ughura

Irish Thursday